Question: I am engaged, but the relationship is turning sour.  I was wondering what are my legal rights to obtain the engagement ring back.  I have not asked for it back, but it does not look like it will be returned that easily..

 

Signed "Mike," Ontario, February 1999**

 

Answer:   It appears to me the answer is simple.  An engagement is like or is a contract.  A contract involves mutual promises.  If one person won't keep his or her own promise, the other is entitled to a remedy while the promise-breaker is entitled to nothing.  If you tell her the marriage is off, then you are breaking the deal and cannot expect to get your property back.

 

If she tells you to hit the road, then she is breaking the contract and therefore she should be giving you the ring back.  If she won't, then you could probably sue her for its value or even its return.

 

If the two of you mutually agree to call the wedding off, then it follows that she should return the ring.  However, if it happens that you make the offer to call if off and she responds affirmatively but demands to keep the ring, then you have to make the decision, either accept that proposal or go ahead and marry her anyway.

 

Finally, I wouldn't suggest you attempt to manipulate the situation.  For instance, you might think you could get her to call it off by striking up an affair with somebody else or by just being down right nasty.  Well, if you do that, she has a good case for saying you are the one in breach of the agreement and she gets to keep the ring even though she is the one calling off the marriage.

 

If things are going sour now, you are probably wise to end it anyway, so do what you can.

 

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